Harassment Policies 

Men are Like...

1. Men are like ...... Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ....... Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ...... Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ...... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ..Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ...... Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ....... Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like .Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ..Parking Spots .... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped."

Enzyme

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

Tail-Light On Bike

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop said to the kid, 'Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'

The kid said, 'Yeah.'

The cop said, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.' The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, 'By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'

Humoring the kid, the cop said, 'Yeah, he sure did.'

The kid said, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.'"

Poems

FEMALE POEM

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.