Micr'sawft Winders

What would life be like if Microsoft was headquarted in Redmond, Mississippi, instead of Redmond, Washington?

1. Their #1 product would be Micr'sawft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of 'Ahh-right' or ' Naw'
5. Instead of 'Ta-Da!', the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
6. The 'Recycling Bin' in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling 'Freebird!'
8. Peripheral products would include a beer tap
9. Powerpoint would be named 'ParPawnt'
10. Interconnectivity would be a goal at a family reunion
11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
12. Micr'sawft Word would be just that: one word
13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grit carts
14. New Shutdown sound: 'Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!'
15. Instead of VP, Micr'sawft big shots would be called 'Cuz'
16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old TranS Am
17. Micr'sawft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
18. Four words: Daisy Duke screen saver
19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
20. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
21. Flight simulator upgraded to Tractor Pull Simulator
22. Micr'sawft CEO: Bubba Gates"