Redneck Woman Rails on Obama - Watch more free videos
Showing posts with label Redneck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Redneck. Show all posts
Monday, October 06, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Firewood
Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
'Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside
them logs, but he's hidin' it there.." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house "Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep "Happy Birthday, buddy!"
(Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Bumper Stickers for Redneck Cars
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else ... And Seek Counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off. [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest].
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over. [Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]
Remember Folks --- Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service; Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge.
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me 'bout Ebonics.
Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat --- The Other White Meat.
Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
Monday, May 07, 2007
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