3rd Breast

And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked
the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"

She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"

And so it was done, and it was good.

Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding the third breast
in her hand," What can be done with this useless boob?"

And God created man

BoobIcons

Perfect breasts (o)(o)
Silicone breasts ( + )( + )
Perky breasts (*)(*)
Big nipple breasts (@)(@)
A cups o o
D cups { O }{ O }
Wonder bra breasts (oYo)
Cold breasts ( ^ )( ^ )
Lopsided breasts (o)(O)
Pierced Breasts (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels Breasts (p)(p)
Grandma's Breasts \ o /\ o /
Against The Shower Door Breasts ( )( )
Android Breasts | o | | o |
Mamogram Breasts (_)(_)
Martha Stewart's Breasts ($)($)

Cat Carrier....

For all you cat lovers. This rig really works I tried it on my cat.

Dating vs Marriage .....

Dating vs Marriage .....
When you are dating ... Farting is never an issue.
When you are married ... You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When you are dating ... He holds your hand in public.
When you are married ... He flicks your ear in public.

When you are dating ... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When you are married ... A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you are dating ... You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married ... You think to yourself "Was he ALWAYS this hairy??"

When you are dating ... He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you are married ... He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you are dating ... You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you are married ... You wonder who will die first.

When you are dating ... Just looking at him makes you feel all"mushy."
When you are married ... When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

When you are dating ... He knows what the "hamper" is.
When you are married ... The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

When you are dating ... He understands if you "Aren't in the mood."
When you are married ... He says "It's your job."

When you are dating ... He understands that you have "male" friends.
When you are married ... He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

When you are dating ... He likes to "discuss" things.
When you are married ... He develops a "blank" stare.

When you are dating ... He calls you by name.
When you are married ... He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She".

See it doesn't matter how bad you spell

See it doesn't matter how bad you spell

Mapping of the CAT BRAIN 

Giving more than 100%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the BullshiT and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Tivo Rules

Tivo rules just waiting for Tivo Version 6.
More Tivo information is here

Funny and not so funny stuff

Yum, this should be some slick beef:
Women convicted of killing abusive husband is lucky to have a woman judge:
Obvious Hotel Discoveries:
“Hey what’s this red light on the webcam connected to the computer I’m steeling?”
A quicker eviction procedure for sure:
Honest Ossifer Im an arteest…
Science has our backs guys:
I never learned this in school… I had to learn it on the weekends in my spare time ;-)

Daytona 500 today

The season has finally started after a two month wait (Wow that was a long time to wait for NASCAR). My driver Mark Martin number 6 Viagra hopefully won't blow an engine this year. We will have to wait and see what happens this year. Track pass is free this year for the 500 so try it out.

Free Tax Software

I just found an article on Yahoo news that the IRS makes it posible to use turbo tax for free as well as various other tax programs. Click here to enter.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. I hope you will visit often to see what I have to offer. I hope to post information that may interest you but if not oh well. I have a web site that you are welcome to view as well as an FTP site but you will need a password to gain access. I have put together a business web site but no customers as of yet. Enjoy my blog.