Idiots at work 
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
She was soooooooo blonde...
**She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
**She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
...she thought General Motors was in the army.
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'
**She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'concentrate.'
...she told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'
...at the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here,' she put 'Sagittarius.'
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
**She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she studied for a blood test.
...she thought she needed a token to get on 'Soul Train.'
...she sold the car for gas money!
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
...when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home.
**She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
...she had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for
'This goes In Front'
Games we play when we get older
Old is when...
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
For those that question everything....
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out'
2. Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible?
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
10. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
11. What do you call male ballerinas?
12. Why ARE Trix only for kids?
13. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
15. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
16. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
17. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
18. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
20. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?"
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