Tail-Light On Bike

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop said to the kid, 'Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'

The kid said, 'Yeah.'

The cop said, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.' The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, 'By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?'

Humoring the kid, the cop said, 'Yeah, he sure did.'

The kid said, 'Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.'"

Poems

FEMALE POEM

I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MALE POEM

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

"BUMPER STICKERS Good to the last one!!!

"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
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Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
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If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
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If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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Illiterate? Wri! te For Help.
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Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.
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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
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You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
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Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
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Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph
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Guys: No Shirt,! No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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Ax Me About Ebonics.
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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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Boldly Going Nowhere.
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Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
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Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
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Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
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GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN.
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All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
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Redneck Wedding 

Bra Sizes

Finally...........there is a rhyme to the reason of the strange designation given to bra sizes:

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes?

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, here is the answer...

A - Almost Boobs...
B - Barely there.
C - Can't Complain!
D - Damn!
DD - Double damn!
E - Enormous!
F - Fake